Jacob Stockdale admits he had thoughts of giving up on Test rugby during his five years in the Six Nations wilderness.
The Ulster wing bridged that very gap, back to March of 2021, with his presence in the line-up for the Championship opener away to France on Thursday evening.
Player of the tournament back in 2018, he had struggled to break back in after the emergence and form of James Lowe and on the back of form and fitness issues of his own.
Through all that, Andy Farrell never forgot him. Stockdale played the odd game and made a string of squads and camps, but there were times when the frustration almost got too much.
“It’s a funny thing, so it is. On one hand you feel the frustration and sometimes you want to go, ‘Do you know what, it’s not worth it’ because of the constant disappointment.
“But the wee glint of hope that you might play international rugby again just keeps drawing you back in. That and I’m fairly sure we’re contractually obliged to play for Ireland.”
So, to get the nod for Paris came as something of a “relief” for Stockdale but there was no celebrating in the aftermath given Ireland went down to a sobering 22-point defeat that threatened to be even uglier.
“There will be a few meetings, so there will, to try to figure out exactly what happened there. There are things you can look to and probably not holding onto the ball well enough.
“There is maybe a bit of a lack of intensity. There are different things, but ultimately we will have to go back and review it properly to know exactly where we let them in.”
The dire straits Ireland found themselves in seemed to peak on 50 minutes when, trailing 29-0, Farrell made a quartet of changes. Stockdale thought he was among this making way, left the field, and then reappeared as Tommy O’Brien got the message.
A major force in the Six Nations for so long, it now looks as though Ireland are in for a period of some difficulty, not least with England in Twickenham still to come in round three.
Three home games could provide some succour but even those look more precarious propositions now on the back of the French loss and the worrying dip in form over what is now a prolonged period of time.
Italy, who open their tournament on Saturday at home to Scotland, come to Dublin a week later. Ireland have only lost once to them in the Six Nations. That was in 2013. And in Rome.
It speaks volumes that this is even being mentioned now but such is the new reality now.
“Italy are a brilliant team,” said Stockdale. “Both Zebre and Treviso in the URC have shown real form and they’re getting better and better every game.
“Playing Italy is not like how it used to be five years ago. They’re a very, very good team and they definitely deserve the utmost respect.”
